Sit back and relax, this one is going to take a while to tell. It is amazing to me some of the things that happen to our family. Sometimes I think that we are being set up by someone and video taped. The latest report from Precocious Plantation involves several newcomers some human and some not so human.
This all started about two months ago. My mother (a.k.a. my neighbor) mentioned that she had seen something wandering around in her front yard one night and she thought it was a skunk. We all thought that seemed strange and my dad even went as far as to laugh at her, but she stuck to her story. A few weeks later, Mark comes into the bedroom around 4:30 in the morning wakes me up and tells me that there is a skunk right outside our house. He said “do you want to see it?” Seriously? It is the booty crack of dawn and he wants me to come look at a skunk. Of course, I got up to investigate. Sure enough, there he was Pepe Le Pew himself!
Our next tango with Pepe was about three weeks later. We had some friends over for dinner and when they started to leave Mark begins staring out our dining room window. He told me he was going to step out the door and check to make sure there were no skunks outside before they left. I cracked up laughing! I told Mark he was crazy, but if he wanted to be on skunk patrol go right ahead. He opened the front door and before he could shut it behind him he was back in the house and slamming the door! “It’s out there!” he said. Seriously? I could not believe it! We were trapped! Mark came up with a plan to get our friends to their car without becoming aromatically challenged. My job was to sneak our friends out the garage while Mark stood outside the front door and guarded Pepe. Heaven help us if there were any nosey neighbors watching because we gave them a show. Our friends made it to their car without a vermin encounter. We may never here from them again, but at least they made it out smelling like a rose. LOL!
Once again, at the booty crack, a week ago this past Sunday Mark wakes me up. “There are two!” he said. Great day in the morning! We are being invaded! Why here? Why my house? Why could they not have stayed at my moms? The revelation of there being multiple skunks completely tore Mark out of frame. He became a man on a mission. His first step was a trip to Lowes. He came home with $20 less than he went with and a bottle of something called “Critter Ritter”. I know what you are thinking, try to catch your breath and like my uncle Bud says “hold your bucket“ there’s more. After the $20 was flushed away, Mark’s next step was much more violent. He wanted to poison them. Duh! Then they will curl up around my house and die! Talk about stink. Then Mark decided he was going to try a “catch and release” method. Lord have mercy! This man is redneck wanna be in the body of an accountant. He was actually going to go to the farm and garden store and by a trap! I ask him what in the world he was going to do with Pepe and his woman Lola if he trapped them. I told him if he got sprayed he would be sleeping outside for at least three weeks. Mark took my warning to heart and did not buy a trap.
In comes Super Mom! (That’s me!) I logged onto the trusty internet and found my hero! I found him at www.gawildlifecontrol.com. Matt (we are now on a first name basis) is the owner and founder of A+ Wildlife Control. He came to our rescue last Friday. Then again on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! He set six traps, three at my house and three at moms.
Here comes the “ah ha” moment of this entire fiasco. My mom thought that it was fascinating because Matt baited the traps with watermelon. I told her that my new friend Matt said that watermelon was a favorite of Pepe and those of his kind. All the color began to drain out of my mothers face and all she could say is “oops”. Oops? What does that mean? She then lets the cat out of the bag and confessed to having fed the skunks. You see, my dad has been throwing watermelon scraps out in their backyard for months! My parents have been feeding Pepe and Lola for who knows how long!
We woke up Saturday morning with three skunks caught. Yes, three! Obviously, Pepe is a busy skunk, but wait! Sunday morning another skunk trapped. Yes, that’s four! Monday morning, another skunk. Yep! The math is right, FIVE! He trapped five skunks in total and none sprayed! That is why Matt is my new hero!
Needless to say, my mom and dad will no long be putting there melons anywhere but the trash!
A little side note:
Did I mention that my new hero Matt looks just like Chris O’Donnell? You know, McVet. Grey’s Anatomy, Robin from Batman and Robin. Yep! Looks just like him. I will confess though, he may look like McVet, but the fact that he catches skunks for a living kind of takes away from the wow of it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment