Candy Anyone?

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Forrest Gump really hit the nail on the head with that one. Mark and I have been going through our own box of chocolate and you will never guess what we ended up with. Baby #3! Yes, that’s right we are expecting another baby in late February. The only word that still comes to mind is “shocked” and that’s even after knowing for a month. All I can say is Casa de Crazy will never be the same.

Carter and Kate are over the moon about it. Carter has requested a boy and Kate has requested “a gurl just wike meee” my only comment to Kate was “let’s not get that technical”. The last few weeks have been unproductive to say the least. I’m not sure who came up with the term “morning” sickness, but something tells me it was a man. I am here to say that there is no such thing as “morning” sickness. It is “ALL THE TIME” sickness. However, I will say that I have found a new drug of choice, Dramamine. Yes, it makes me sleepy and yes it makes me irritable, but at this point and time if I have to look at another saltine cracker or glass of Sprite I will scream!

Tales of a True Pioneer

Kate is the true pioneer of our family. She was our first and only child to have colic. She is the only one that gets car sick and the first one to break a bone. Let’s not forget about our trip to the ER two years ago after she swallowed a penny. I am proud to say that time has not taken away Kate’s pioneering spirit.

Last Tuesday night all was well at Casa de Crazy. Dinner was over, kitchen cleaned, and I had just settled into a little Facebook time when Kate wanders up. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: “Hey sweetie, how may I be of assistance?”
Kate: “Mummy, can you get the shoe out of my nose?”
Me: “Huh?”
Kate: “I need you to get the shoe out.”

At this point I am thinking that her imagination is getting the best of her, but I humor her and get a flashlight to investigate.

Me: “Katie, I don’t see a shoe.”
Kate: “Mummy! I have a shoe up my nose! Now, please…get-it-out!”

Trying hard not to laugh, I went to beg for Mark’s help. I use the term “beg” because when dealing with things such as noses, snot, and all other things that fall into the bodily fluid category, Mark typically runs the other way or simply cannot be found.

Me: “Mark, um…Can you come downstairs for a minute? I think I need your help.”

Mark comes downstairs and I tell him what has happened. After three verses of “Katie, why do you do these things”, we are able to locate the shoe. (Did I mention this “shoe” actually belonged on one of her Polly Pocket dolls?) To my surprise, Mark declares that he can get it out! Seriously? He goes and gets the tweezers and all I can say is “Mark, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” “I can do it”, he said. Not sure what happened to his irrational fear of snot, but ok.

In the mean time, Kate picks up on my hesitation real quick and starts chanting “no daddy, no daddy” and hiding her nose. This little episode went on for another 15 minutes and finally I declared it “ER time”. Adding to the drama, Carter starts to cry when Kate and I leave. Obviously, he thinks that Kate is about to have some major procedure done. He is holding onto Kate and Kate is holding on to him and they are both hysterical.

After an hour and a half at the hospital, a good set of “alligator forceps”, a doctor who was totally amused and a bill that will be Lord knows how much, we returned home with a clean nose and a tiny pink Polly Pocket shoe covered in snot.

Another Kate classic and a typical day at the casa de crazy!

Can I Get a Witness?

Until this morning there are very few times in my life that I can honestly say I have been humiliated or left speechless. I had just gotten home from the grocery store and while I was putting up the food I spilled water on my pants. So with my quick wit I decided to take my pants off and lay them over a chair to dry. I proceeded to the living room to make a quick phone call and Snickers started barking. I thought that was kind of strange because when I got home from the store he was sound asleep in his crate (he is not a morning dog). Kate came running from Snickers direction so I just assumed she had woke him up. My phone conversation continued and so did Snickers barking. In the midst of my conversation I reassured Snickers that I would be with him in just a minute, but he continued to protest. All of a sudden I look up and my front door is standing wide open (thanks to Kate) and there stands a lady from Jehovah’s Witness!

I froze! There I was sitting in the living room in my shirt and underwear! My friend on the phone just kept talking on and on and all I could do is just sit there looking at this woman, speechless. I hung up the phone, grabbed an afghan from the chair, wrapped it around me and headed to the door, I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter. The lady smiled at me and the conversation went a little something like this…

Me: “Hi, I’m sorry, my daughter has a BAD habit of opening the door when she is NOT suppose to…….I spilled water on my pants.”

JW: “That’s OK. You have a beautiful view from your home. (Yeah! You got a view alright!) I am here on a mission from my church and I wanted to talk to you about having Faith during hard times.”

Me: “Oh, well I understand completely about Faith and I believe you should have Faith all the time, not just in hard times. (Now, this is the point where I should have just shut up, but NOOOO not me!) My family and I are very active in church and I am a Sunday school teacher. This is very hard to look you in the eye and say since I do not have any pants on.” (Duh!)
(What can I say I was desperate and without my pants!)

The lady thanked me for my time and left.

Leave it to me to find such a creative way to get the JW’s to leave in a hurry. My guess is they may scratch my address off their list permanently!

A note to my fellow church members…Please note that I did not tell the JW were I went to church. I wanted to protect the identity of the innocent!

Prison "Break"

Spring cleaning is in overdrive at Casa de Crazy. I started cleaning about 4 weeks ago and I'm still not finished, but that's another blog all together. Today I was cleaning in Kate's room and everything was going well. Kate was in her room with me and Carter was in his. Suddenly, Carter comes busting into the room and the conversation went a little something like this:

Carter: "Kate, I hate to break it to you, but I am going to have to arrest you and take you to jail."

Kate: "Why babee?"

Carter: "Cause you've been bad, but don't worry."

Kate: "Will it be OK babee?"

Carter: "Yes, cause you know what the good part about jail is?"

Kate: "What?"

Carter: "You get 3 meals a day, you get to watch TV and you get visitors!"

Kate: "OOOOKKKKK, wets goooo!"

After that, what else can I say...?

Bust A Move

Two weeks ago marked the second parent observation day at Kate's dance studio. We had dance first and during the warm up the teacher asked the girls to do their "butterflies". As they are "butterflying" she asked each little girl where they would go on their flying trip. The answers ranged from Disney World to grandma's house, except Kate. When asked where she would like to go on her trip Kate proudly answered "the shoe store"! That's my girl!

After dance we had gymnastics and it got a little more interesting. As I am sitting and doing my "observing", I noticed one of the other little girls bothering Kate. (In order to protect the not so innocent, we will call this little troublemaker "Lucy".) "Lucy" would get right in Kate's face and stick her tongue out at Kate and try to push her. Now, "Lucy's" mom was sitting right there in the room and did not say a word! By then, I'm praying "Lord, please give me the restraint I need to not grab this kid by the ponytail and drag her off that mat".

The good Lord anwered my prayer because Kate moved away from "Lucifer" I mean "Lucy". Next thing you know that kid followed Kate to the other side of the room and here we go again! Finally, my mother, who by the way, was there too said, "Stef, if you don't get that kid off of Kate, I'm going too". Again, I look over at "Lucy's" mom and I get NOTHING! No "Lucy" stop, no "Lucy" don't, NOTHING! Finally, I made eye contact with Kate and I gave her that look that only a mother can give a daughter, the look that says "take her out!". Kate stood up and pushed "Lucy" away and said STOP!

Problem solved, without having to make "Lucy" and her mom an "offer they couldn't refuse"

Who Invented Spring Break?

Aww! Spring break is upon us, but I am not necessarily rejoicing over the event. Don't get me wrong Carter being home with Kate and me is great, not to mention getting to sleep late. This, by the way, for my kids is only 8:30am. However, after the last few days at Casa de Crazy one must ask oneself "who invented spring break?" My first thought, whoever did was obviously not from the south. Any good southerner knows that we do not take "spring" breaks in the month of April. The only thing most of us "break" for in April is a trip to the local allergy clinic seeking refuge and some form of relief from the green monster otherwise known as pollen.

My week started off on a high note or should I say a "no" note. Monday morning I woke up and could not talk. The green monster had taken my vocal cords hostage. The kids took full advantage of the situation and were running amuck. I had to be crafty and resorted to hitting objects with a wooded spoon to get their attention. Tuesday the monster released my voice and began to infiltrate my head (it has been hurting for 3 days now).

Tuesday also marked our annual trip to the pediatrician for Carter's yearly physical. The doctor informed me that Carter has weighed the same amount for the last 2 1/2 years and has grew 3 inches in the last 12 months. Dude...could you imagine? All I can say is "dare to dream".

Wednesday was "D" day (dentist) for both Carter and Kate. Are you sensing a theme going on here? The kids fascinate me when it comes to going to the dentist. They love it! Kate has what I like to call a "toothbrush fetish". Anytime we go somewhere she wants a new toothbrush and shoes. The shoes are a whole different blog altogether. As of right now, she has 7 toothbrushes and she chooses a different one each morning just like she were choosing her clothes.

Today was much better at the Casa and sadly we only have a few more days in our "spring break". May they be increasingly more peaceful and somewhat "pollen free".

The Battle Rages On...

Well my friends it is that time of year again. People everywhere are rolling up their sleeves, putting on their dust masks and cleaning out their drawers. No, they are not spring cleaning, it is tax season people! Unorganized audit fearing people everywhere are searching for every bill and receipt they can find, all in an effort to fill their plastic Wal-Mart bags and over-sized shoe boxes.

Yes, the time of year that makes all the “number crunchers” of the world out right giddy is upon us and it is most obvious at Casa de Crazy. In the entire eight years Mark and I have been married one thing has remained unchanged during the annual “number fest” and that is Mark’s unwillingness to mow the lawn. I realize that it may sound like I am being a nag, but come on people! Right now, in our neighborhood we are being thought of as “those people”. You know the ones. They never take care of their lawn and as far as anyone knows, there could be a car up on blocks underneath all the grass! I am not kidding, it is BAD! In one spot it looks like we are starting to grow corn!

I have gone from asking, to begging, to pleading, to out right fit pitching, but alas it has not worked. We are once again living by Mark’s “code”, (and I quote) “I do not mow before April 15th".

So, if any of our neighbors happen to be reading this…I apologize. It is not me, it’s him! I promise we are not hiding a car or a broken down R.V. Please do not “roll” our yard, or put nasty notes in our mailbox. Just bear with me for a few more days!

Kateisms and Such

Some of the funniest things in life are the little things that people, especially kids, say and do. On that note, I want to share what I like to call “Kateisms.

Kate was in her room playing with Snickers. I was secretly watching from the doorway and this is what I heard. “Sneeeekers, I will be the beautiful princess and you can be my dog…….Spaaaarky.”

We were getting ready to leave for Carter’s T-Ball practice and Kate was giving me a hard time about what shoes she wanted to wear. I told her to wear her new flip flops that I made her. In her whiniest of voices she asked me why she had to wear those. “Because they are cute”, I replied. Then she said, “but mummy, I am already cute!”

My mom, Kate and I went to the nail salon for a mani/pedi. As some of you may know, it is sometimes difficult to understand the Vietnamese manicurist when they talk to you. When it was Kate’s turn, the lady took her by the hand and led her to her chair and began painting Kate’s fingers and toes. A few minutes went by and I looked over and there was my three year old daughter having a lengthy conversation with the Vietnamese manicurist! Obviously, Kate spoke her language!

Mark was going to take Carter and Kate outside to practice ball. Carter puts his cleats on and gets his gear together and announces that he is ready to go outside. Kate starts screaming “wait, wait, let me get my stuff!”. I told her to get here shoes and meet me in the living room. Moments later she comes bursting into the room shouting “I’m weddy to play ball daddy!”. (She came out wearing her pink fur lined boots, extra Cinderella lip gloss, and carrying her shiny pink satin purse.) Yep, she is going to be a ball player alright!

Kate: “Mummy, when is brudder’s birthday?”
Me: “Next Thursday.”
Kate: “When is my day, mummy?”
Me: “In about six months.”
Kate: “(gasp), No, no. I think all days should be Katie day!” “Can we do that mummy?”

Think Before You What?

Most of you I’m sure have heard someone (probably your parents) say you are going to “pay for your raising”. My mother has said it to me since the day she found out I was pregnant and boy she was right. Every chance my mom gets she tells the story about how I embarrassed her beyond redemption when I was a mere 6 years old. The story goes a little something like this…

My mom and I were home one night and her friend Helen came to visit. When my mom went to answer the door, I followed right behind her. Helen came in and I stood in the doorway and gazed outside. Suddenly I turned around and said “Mommy who’s ugly green car is that parked outside?” “Mommy that car is the ugliest car I’ve ever seen!” All mom could say was “hush Stephanie, just hush!” Needless to say when Helen left I got a nice long lecture about thinking before I speak.

Fast forward 29 years and here I am. Now I too have a 6 year old with an opinion of his own and no “off“ switch. His “motor mouth” really got cranked up about 6 months ago. He started off small with simple things like “Man, look at that woman! She sure is tall!” Then he progressed to “Mom, she looks like she is going to have 2 babies!”. Of course the “think before you speak” sermon rolls off my tongue like butter and has been given on more than one occasion.

He has toned it down a little and 90% of the time he manages to share his “opinions” with only me. Now, the bad part about being the parent is that I want to laugh when he says some of the stuff he says, but that only makes it worse. Sometimes he says out loud what I’m thinking and that is when I can’t control my laughter! That’s why deep down I know my mom didn’t like that green car either. No self respecting car owner would have! I digress.

All of this leads me to last Saturday. The kids, mom and I were going down the road and mom started talking to Carter about him being named after his great grandfather, so the conversation goes…

Mom: “Carter, did you know you were named after your great grandfather?”
Carter: “Uh?”
Mom: “Your great grandfather. Ya know, my daddy. Your mother’s papaw.”
Carter: “Oh!”
Carter: “Was he a preacher?”
Mom: “No, why?”
Carter: “Well, he was old.”
Mom: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Carter: “I thought all old men were preachers.”
Me: “Uh! Carter! Brother Joel is our preacher and he is the same age as your daddy!”
Carter: “I know mommy, that’s what I’m saying…old!”

Needless to say, I still can not find that “off” switch!

Dog Days of Winter???

As some of you know it has been two weeks since we became the all American family by adding a dog to the mix. Yes, Snickers is now a full time resident at Casa de Crazy. Honestly, it has been a peaceful transition and I have been pleasantly surprised. I guess I need to give you a little background info on the Snick-man. He is a 4 year old Schnoodle (part schnauzer/part poodle). He is crate trained and for anyone who has ever had a dog or puppy who was not, trust me this is a blessing. As I mentioned, the transition has been peaceful, but that does not mean it hasn’t been hilarious!

Snickers arrived on a Wednesday. This is important, why? Well, it’s because Wednesday is a church night. What’s my point? Well, Snickers is not necessarily a “people” dog. He does not “mesh” well with strangers. Yes, I was a stranger to him at first, but we hit it off well and I became his best friend within the first hour. Did I mention that he likes women better than men? Oh yes! Do you see where this is going?

Mark called me later on that Wednesday afternoon and told me that he would possibly have a conference call later that evening and he would not be at church, but would see me at home. Uh Oh! I then had to explain to my husband, who I had to “convince” to get the dog in the first place, that he could not go home before me that night. I told him that if he got home before me he could NOT go in the house! He very calmly ask me, “why?”. I told him that he was a stranger to Snickers and I had to be in the house with Snickers before he could come inside. (Can’t you just imagine what Mark is thinking by this time.)

So Wednesday night arrived and I was at church. It was around 8:00pm when my cell phone rang, so under the circumstances I answered it. It was Mark. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: “Hello”
Mark: “Hey, where are you?”
Me: (Thinking to myself…DUH!) “I’m at church. Where are you?”
Mark: “I am in my car, sitting in the driveway waiting on you to come home.”
Me: “Ha! Ha! Ha!…I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I quickly formulated a plan for getting Mark in the house, without being eaten alive by the massive white puff ball also known as Snickers. I went into the house first and took Snickers out the garage door to go “pee pee potty”. Mark and the kids then tip toed around to the front door and went inside. Snickers and I returned from the potty break and lets just say that it is a good thing Snickers went potty first. Snickers went nuts! He growled and barked and jumped. Mark handled it very well! He walked over to the fridge, got a piece of cheese and gave it to the dog. Snickers sucked the cheese right down and then became strangely calm. Mark looked down at Snickers and said “Hello dog, my name is Mark, I make the money around here, I buy the cheese…you will like me!” Mark and Snickers now have an understanding.

My mom could use a little of that understanding. On Snickers second day at Casa de Crazy things went fairly well until the early evening. The dog and I were in the laundry room when I heard the kids say something to me about Nana (my mom). I could not hear exactly what they said, but I soon found out. We came out of the laundry room and into the living room and there sat my mom! Snickers flew over to her (this dog is FAST, and he is a JUMPER) and started barking and snarling at her and then he started jumping at her face and snipping at her! What did I do you might be asking? I stood in the doorway and laughed until I snorted. If I had been drinking something, this would be one of those times it would come out my nose. My mom threw her hands up in surrender and started screaming…”Get your dog, Stef!” “Get your dog!” Needless to say, mom hasn’t come around much lately!

Yes, it is the dog days of winter around these parts and it just gets more interesting everyday!

You Know You Are From Georgia

As most of you know, I was born and raised in the south also known as God‘s country. The state of Georgia to be exact. Something crossed my email the other day and I simply must share it.

You know you are from Georgia if…

You can properly pronounce the following: Chickamauga, DeKalb, Smyrna, Buena Vista, Valdosta, Okefenokee, and Lafayette.

Atlanta is pronounced “Add-lanna”.

Stores do not have “shopping carts” they have “buggies“.

You have seen people wear bib overalls to a wedding or a funeral.

You measure distance in minutes.

A tornado siren is your signal to go out into the yard and look for a funnel.

You do not have a “lawn”, you have a “yard”.

You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

Someone you know has used the UGA football schedule to plan their wedding date.

You know someone with a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

Almost EVERYONE you know is either Baptist or Methodist.

A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol, but a Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

You know everything goes better with ranch dressing.

On one side of the road there’s Wal-Mart and on the other side is a cotton field.

Y’all is a word.

Fried Chicken is a major part of your diet.

Krispy Kreme donuts are the only donuts you will eat.

You call it a cold Christmas if you don’t break out in a sweat wearing your new sweater.

When a single snow flake falls, the entire state shuts down and all grocery stores will be out of milk, bread, and toilet paper.

You know the difference between hillbillies, rednecks, and southerners.

You use “sir” and “ma’am” if there’s a remote possibility that the person you’re talking to is at least 30 minutes older than you.

You don’t “appreciate” it…you “preciate” it.

Herschel Walker, Larry Munson, Sid Bream, and Hank Aaron are legends.

You say and know what “I bet your sittin in high cotton right now” means.

You use the heater in the morning and A/C in the afternoon during the “winter” season.

Last but not least, you know you are from Georgia if you have ever had this conversation:

“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah”
“What kind?”
“Dr Pepper”

Admit it my fellow Georgian’s (that means all of us that live in Georgia) you know I am right!

Moving Violations

I have always considered myself to be a nice person. I am friendly, easy going, I smile a lot, I’m a courteous driver and speak to people even if I do not know who they are. I am a true believer that you can judge a person character by how they act when no one is watching. Today, my “character” was put to the test.

My car was being serviced today and I was driving Mark’s car. I had ran errands all morning and was making one last stop before picking up the car. Kate and I drove into the parking lot of our local outlet mall and parked the car. It was a few minutes before the store opened so we sat in the car and sang our ABC’s. A car pulled into the entrance in front of me and I noticed the lady in the car was intensely staring at me. I will admit it was kind of creepy and for a split second I turned into a 12 year old again and thought to myself…”take a picture, it will last longer”. I stress that I THOUGHT it, I did not say it out loud.

She drove on passed us and Kate and I went about our silliness. Just a few seconds later she drove past us again and this time she had her window rolled down and her arm was hanging out. As her car got closer I realized what she was doing and let’s just say it involved her middle finger on her right hand!

Ohhh Nooo She Didn’t! But yes, SHE DID!

I could feel my blood pressure rising and all I really wanted to do was take my shoe off and throw it at her. (I know, real tuff, huh?)

I began to look around to see if she was possibly “signaling” to someone else, but NO! I was the only person within a 4 mile radius.

I am still SHOCKED and I am trying real hard not to think bad thoughts about this “crazy woman”, but it’s hard not to.

OK maybe I should not have called her crazy, but come on…I think I am stating the obvious!

The Sweet Smell of Victory

Do you hear that noise? Listen carefully… that my friend is the sound of my motor taking a victory lap! Mark has conceded and WE CAN HAVE A DOG! I owe this victory all to Kate. She hit it out of the park this morning and the moment was priceless.

I was folding laundry in the living room when Kate came through and said “Mummy looook, I found my duckie.” “Can I give it a baff?” I told her we would do it tonight and she went about her business. About 5 minutes later she returned and said “Mummy looook what my duckie can dooo.” She took a ball and threw it across the room. Then she took the duckie and threw it at the ball and yelled “Duckie…go fetch!” I lost all self control and laughed so hard I cried. Kate then wanted to know if we could buy the duckie some food and take it to the vet to get shots!
Immediately, I called Mark at work to tell him this hilarious story. I promise I had no ulterior motive, but to tell him the funny story. So I tell Mark the story and he said “OK that’s it I can’t take it anymore, we can get a dog!” “That is just too much that she has to play fetch with a rubber duck.”

And that ladies and gentlemen is how it‘s done……

Diary of a Dog (Pt.2)

A few weeks have passed and “Operation: Doggie Deception” is in full swing. Everyday Kate asks her daddy if it is the day that we are getting a dog. Hee! Hee! I LOVE IT! Kate is by far the best weapon that I have in my arsenal. She has gotten me out of cooking dinner more times than I can count. Hats off to Kate, she does her job well.

Operation Doggie Deception or ODD as I like to call it began with me bombarding Mark with email pictures of the pampered pooch that could be looking for a home. He was intrigued, I could tell. Next was the “drop the subject” trick. I did not mention the dog for awhile and just as I suspected a couple of days later Mark said “Ya’ll have not said much about that dog lately. Is there something wrong?” Ha! I’ve got him right where I want him. Mark is actually asking about the dog and I even got him to admit it was cute. Just yesterday he asked what if our friends decided to keep their dog. I simply said, that’s ok if they do other dogs will come along. Then I got what I have been wanting from day 1, Mark said, “Well, it all sounds pretty good I guess…we’ll see how it plays out.”

Dear readers I know you can not see me right now, but I am doing my happy dance.

Hopefully, I will be taking my victory lap very soon!

Diary of a Dog (Pt.1)

There are dog people in this world and there are cat people in this world. Personally, I am a dog person, always have been, always will be. I have never cared much for cats. I do not deal well with anything that has longer nails than me. I have had many dogs in my life and I loved them all. My first dog was a beagle named Penny, and through the years we had Biscuit, Barney, Ethel, Spud and of course our baby Bear.

Now, Mark is one of those cat people. Ugh! A few months after we were married Mark’s mom somehow convinced Mark to take one of her cat’s home with him. You can imagine how well that went over. The cats name was Rusty and she and I were like oil and water. I would cringe just saying her name. (I said “Rusty” just like Jerry Seinfeld said “Newman”). Six months after Rusty came to our humble home, we adopted a new puppy, Molly (part golden retriever, part cocker spaniel). The best part of Molly was watching Rusty’s reaction ever time she heard Molly coming across the wood floors. Molly’s presence kept Rusty hiding in Mark’s office 99% of the time. She was a GOOD DOG! A few years ago when we moved, Molly moved to a new home. Our subdivision does not allow outside dogs and she had gotten too big to stay inside. Since then we have been pet free and that has saddened me. I feel like every child should have a pet (dog). Mark and I have talked about it in the past, but Mark does not want to go through another “puppy” phase. My solution has always been to adopt an older dog (aka a house broken dog). I muffled my dreams of having a dog for awhile. Until a few weeks ago when a light shined through the darkness.

It was a few days after the New Year and I was sitting in my Sunday school class of 2nd graders discussing a new puppy one of my students had gotten for Christmas. A dear friend of mine entered the room and joined in the conversation. When I shared my dream of having a dog my friend said “Really, I have a dog that might need a home”. Uh? Now, they have an adorable dog of the house broken variety that they love very much; however, their children are older now and they all have busy schedules and it does not allow much time for spending with the dog. HOT DOG! No pun intended, but I was soooo excited! Then in the same moment I thought Uh! Oh! Mark!…..Ugh!

So now I have devised a plan. I like to call it “Operation Doggie Dream”.

Part 1 is to reintroduce the doggie dream to Mark by dropping mentions of a family pet. (Basically tell him how deprived our kids are because they do not have a dog)

Part 2 is to tell him funny doggie stories. (Pull every funny and endearing dog story I could think of out of my bag of tricks and distribute them at the right moment)

Part 3 is to mention the friends dog and how they MIGHT be looking for a loving home for it (Pretty much tell him about the dog and then play innocent like “I wonder who they might find to take the dog“)

Part 4 is to have an Ah! Ha moment and suggest that we could take the dog. (Just like it sounds)
At this point, I have completed steps 1-4 with great success. He is warming up to the idea.

Today starts my next phase which I call “Operation Doggie Deception”. Let’s just say this phase involves my blonde hair, blue eyed daughter telling daddy how much she would luuuuvvvv a dog.
I’ll keep you posted!

May Wii?

We have a new toy at casa de crazy and it has become an obsession. Believe it or not I am to blame. We were sitting at home New Years day and I got a wild hair that we needed a Wii. Our original plan was to get Carter one for his birthday in March, but after hearing everyone talk about playing theirs over the holiday, I decided we should not wait.

In the back of my mind I had selfish thoughts. I wanted a Wii because I wanted to get a Wii fit also. My plan backfired! We bought it on January 1st, it is now January 15th and I have played with this contraption twice. Did we waste our money? Well it depends on how you look at it. I’ll be blunt…Mark and Carter hog the Wii! Yes, I said HOG the Wii!

Every night is the same. They play target shoot and then tanks. Now, they take this tank game VERY seriously! They strategize and form a plan over dinner, but then somehow it goes haywire while they are playing and they end up fighting. I left them in the living last night and I heard this conversation…

Carter: “Daddy, is it almost over?”
Mark: “Yes”
Carter: “Daddy it says game over.”
Mark: “OK, let’s do it one more time.”

5 minutes later…

Carter: “Daddy this one is over.”
Mark: “OK, don’t you want to try for one more level?”
Carter: “OK daddy.”

5 minutes later…

Carter: “Daddy I think I need to go to bed now.”
Mark: “We’re almost done.”
Carter: “Daddy, it’s a school night.”
Mark: “OK, Carter, but let’s just one more time.”

If this doesn’t sound bad enough, I woke Carter up this morning and he said (I quote) “Mommy, will you please tell daddy that we can’t play those silly tanks too late tonight. I need to go to bed. I’m tired.”

That my friend is just sad!

Happy New Year & Here We Go...

Well, a new year has arrived and all I can say is “bring it on”. I have thought a lot about 2009; as a matter of fact I actually made some resolutions. I have always heard from the numerous “self-help” gurus that I should write down my resolutions/goals and that will make them more “real” and I would be more likely to keep them. In my opinion the gurus are full of bull about most things, but the writing down theory makes sense to me.

2009 Goals and Resolutions

1. I will only drink 1 diet coke a day. (This will probably require me taking some other kind medication as a substitute)
2. I will get up and put “normal” clothes on everyday. (No more spending the day in my pajamas.) (Unless I am sick, then pajamas are a requirement.)
3. I will do my very best to be a nice mommy and wife even while I am suffering the side effects of number 1 and 2.
4. I am going to start scrapbooks for my kids. (Right now I have what I like to call a “scrapbox”, enough said.)
5. I am going to cut my trips to Wal-Mart down to no more than twice a week. (HA!)

Please realize this is just my top five and I have a lot more to work on, but I have to start somewhere.