Dog Days of Winter???

As some of you know it has been two weeks since we became the all American family by adding a dog to the mix. Yes, Snickers is now a full time resident at Casa de Crazy. Honestly, it has been a peaceful transition and I have been pleasantly surprised. I guess I need to give you a little background info on the Snick-man. He is a 4 year old Schnoodle (part schnauzer/part poodle). He is crate trained and for anyone who has ever had a dog or puppy who was not, trust me this is a blessing. As I mentioned, the transition has been peaceful, but that does not mean it hasn’t been hilarious!

Snickers arrived on a Wednesday. This is important, why? Well, it’s because Wednesday is a church night. What’s my point? Well, Snickers is not necessarily a “people” dog. He does not “mesh” well with strangers. Yes, I was a stranger to him at first, but we hit it off well and I became his best friend within the first hour. Did I mention that he likes women better than men? Oh yes! Do you see where this is going?

Mark called me later on that Wednesday afternoon and told me that he would possibly have a conference call later that evening and he would not be at church, but would see me at home. Uh Oh! I then had to explain to my husband, who I had to “convince” to get the dog in the first place, that he could not go home before me that night. I told him that if he got home before me he could NOT go in the house! He very calmly ask me, “why?”. I told him that he was a stranger to Snickers and I had to be in the house with Snickers before he could come inside. (Can’t you just imagine what Mark is thinking by this time.)

So Wednesday night arrived and I was at church. It was around 8:00pm when my cell phone rang, so under the circumstances I answered it. It was Mark. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: “Hello”
Mark: “Hey, where are you?”
Me: (Thinking to myself…DUH!) “I’m at church. Where are you?”
Mark: “I am in my car, sitting in the driveway waiting on you to come home.”
Me: “Ha! Ha! Ha!…I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I quickly formulated a plan for getting Mark in the house, without being eaten alive by the massive white puff ball also known as Snickers. I went into the house first and took Snickers out the garage door to go “pee pee potty”. Mark and the kids then tip toed around to the front door and went inside. Snickers and I returned from the potty break and lets just say that it is a good thing Snickers went potty first. Snickers went nuts! He growled and barked and jumped. Mark handled it very well! He walked over to the fridge, got a piece of cheese and gave it to the dog. Snickers sucked the cheese right down and then became strangely calm. Mark looked down at Snickers and said “Hello dog, my name is Mark, I make the money around here, I buy the cheese…you will like me!” Mark and Snickers now have an understanding.

My mom could use a little of that understanding. On Snickers second day at Casa de Crazy things went fairly well until the early evening. The dog and I were in the laundry room when I heard the kids say something to me about Nana (my mom). I could not hear exactly what they said, but I soon found out. We came out of the laundry room and into the living room and there sat my mom! Snickers flew over to her (this dog is FAST, and he is a JUMPER) and started barking and snarling at her and then he started jumping at her face and snipping at her! What did I do you might be asking? I stood in the doorway and laughed until I snorted. If I had been drinking something, this would be one of those times it would come out my nose. My mom threw her hands up in surrender and started screaming…”Get your dog, Stef!” “Get your dog!” Needless to say, mom hasn’t come around much lately!

Yes, it is the dog days of winter around these parts and it just gets more interesting everyday!

You Know You Are From Georgia

As most of you know, I was born and raised in the south also known as God‘s country. The state of Georgia to be exact. Something crossed my email the other day and I simply must share it.

You know you are from Georgia if…

You can properly pronounce the following: Chickamauga, DeKalb, Smyrna, Buena Vista, Valdosta, Okefenokee, and Lafayette.

Atlanta is pronounced “Add-lanna”.

Stores do not have “shopping carts” they have “buggies“.

You have seen people wear bib overalls to a wedding or a funeral.

You measure distance in minutes.

A tornado siren is your signal to go out into the yard and look for a funnel.

You do not have a “lawn”, you have a “yard”.

You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

Someone you know has used the UGA football schedule to plan their wedding date.

You know someone with a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

Almost EVERYONE you know is either Baptist or Methodist.

A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol, but a Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

You know everything goes better with ranch dressing.

On one side of the road there’s Wal-Mart and on the other side is a cotton field.

Y’all is a word.

Fried Chicken is a major part of your diet.

Krispy Kreme donuts are the only donuts you will eat.

You call it a cold Christmas if you don’t break out in a sweat wearing your new sweater.

When a single snow flake falls, the entire state shuts down and all grocery stores will be out of milk, bread, and toilet paper.

You know the difference between hillbillies, rednecks, and southerners.

You use “sir” and “ma’am” if there’s a remote possibility that the person you’re talking to is at least 30 minutes older than you.

You don’t “appreciate” it…you “preciate” it.

Herschel Walker, Larry Munson, Sid Bream, and Hank Aaron are legends.

You say and know what “I bet your sittin in high cotton right now” means.

You use the heater in the morning and A/C in the afternoon during the “winter” season.

Last but not least, you know you are from Georgia if you have ever had this conversation:

“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah”
“What kind?”
“Dr Pepper”

Admit it my fellow Georgian’s (that means all of us that live in Georgia) you know I am right!

Moving Violations

I have always considered myself to be a nice person. I am friendly, easy going, I smile a lot, I’m a courteous driver and speak to people even if I do not know who they are. I am a true believer that you can judge a person character by how they act when no one is watching. Today, my “character” was put to the test.

My car was being serviced today and I was driving Mark’s car. I had ran errands all morning and was making one last stop before picking up the car. Kate and I drove into the parking lot of our local outlet mall and parked the car. It was a few minutes before the store opened so we sat in the car and sang our ABC’s. A car pulled into the entrance in front of me and I noticed the lady in the car was intensely staring at me. I will admit it was kind of creepy and for a split second I turned into a 12 year old again and thought to myself…”take a picture, it will last longer”. I stress that I THOUGHT it, I did not say it out loud.

She drove on passed us and Kate and I went about our silliness. Just a few seconds later she drove past us again and this time she had her window rolled down and her arm was hanging out. As her car got closer I realized what she was doing and let’s just say it involved her middle finger on her right hand!

Ohhh Nooo She Didn’t! But yes, SHE DID!

I could feel my blood pressure rising and all I really wanted to do was take my shoe off and throw it at her. (I know, real tuff, huh?)

I began to look around to see if she was possibly “signaling” to someone else, but NO! I was the only person within a 4 mile radius.

I am still SHOCKED and I am trying real hard not to think bad thoughts about this “crazy woman”, but it’s hard not to.

OK maybe I should not have called her crazy, but come on…I think I am stating the obvious!