Can I Get a Witness?

Until this morning there are very few times in my life that I can honestly say I have been humiliated or left speechless. I had just gotten home from the grocery store and while I was putting up the food I spilled water on my pants. So with my quick wit I decided to take my pants off and lay them over a chair to dry. I proceeded to the living room to make a quick phone call and Snickers started barking. I thought that was kind of strange because when I got home from the store he was sound asleep in his crate (he is not a morning dog). Kate came running from Snickers direction so I just assumed she had woke him up. My phone conversation continued and so did Snickers barking. In the midst of my conversation I reassured Snickers that I would be with him in just a minute, but he continued to protest. All of a sudden I look up and my front door is standing wide open (thanks to Kate) and there stands a lady from Jehovah’s Witness!

I froze! There I was sitting in the living room in my shirt and underwear! My friend on the phone just kept talking on and on and all I could do is just sit there looking at this woman, speechless. I hung up the phone, grabbed an afghan from the chair, wrapped it around me and headed to the door, I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter. The lady smiled at me and the conversation went a little something like this…

Me: “Hi, I’m sorry, my daughter has a BAD habit of opening the door when she is NOT suppose to…….I spilled water on my pants.”

JW: “That’s OK. You have a beautiful view from your home. (Yeah! You got a view alright!) I am here on a mission from my church and I wanted to talk to you about having Faith during hard times.”

Me: “Oh, well I understand completely about Faith and I believe you should have Faith all the time, not just in hard times. (Now, this is the point where I should have just shut up, but NOOOO not me!) My family and I are very active in church and I am a Sunday school teacher. This is very hard to look you in the eye and say since I do not have any pants on.” (Duh!)
(What can I say I was desperate and without my pants!)

The lady thanked me for my time and left.

Leave it to me to find such a creative way to get the JW’s to leave in a hurry. My guess is they may scratch my address off their list permanently!

A note to my fellow church members…Please note that I did not tell the JW were I went to church. I wanted to protect the identity of the innocent!

Prison "Break"

Spring cleaning is in overdrive at Casa de Crazy. I started cleaning about 4 weeks ago and I'm still not finished, but that's another blog all together. Today I was cleaning in Kate's room and everything was going well. Kate was in her room with me and Carter was in his. Suddenly, Carter comes busting into the room and the conversation went a little something like this:

Carter: "Kate, I hate to break it to you, but I am going to have to arrest you and take you to jail."

Kate: "Why babee?"

Carter: "Cause you've been bad, but don't worry."

Kate: "Will it be OK babee?"

Carter: "Yes, cause you know what the good part about jail is?"

Kate: "What?"

Carter: "You get 3 meals a day, you get to watch TV and you get visitors!"

Kate: "OOOOKKKKK, wets goooo!"

After that, what else can I say...?