I was having a pretty good day yesterday and things were going my way. When I went to get Carter at school, the tide began to turn. I pulled through the pick up line and Carter got in the car. Then the teacher said, “If he says anything about something happening today, don’t worry tomorrow is a new day. All is forgotten.” Translation, Carter got in trouble today.
I immediately started to feel anxious. Carter in trouble? He is my good child, how did this happen? As we drove away, I ask Carter about his day. He said, “It was a good day.” I said, “EVERYTHING was good?” He said (in a softer tone), “Yes”. I said, “Did anything exciting happen?” There it was…silence. He said, “Well, mommy my car had to take a pit stop this morning.” Explanation, his teacher uses a race track incentive to promote good behavior. Your car races on the track, but when you get in trouble you have to go to the pits and loose a lap. (Don’t laugh, remember we are southern.)
So the conversation kept going and I asked all the important questions. So I asked, ”Carter, what did you do that sent you to the pits?” He replied, “I don’t really remember.” Don’t remember? Selective memory at such a young age… I said, “Try!” He said, “Well, I think I did something to Zachary’s head, but it’s not like he cried or anything!” Oh Dear Lord!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
My Mother's Daughter
I come from a long line of strong and spirited women. My maternal grandmother (Agnes) was a force to be reckoned. Before I go any further, let me say that I loved my grandmother very much and to be honest I am more like her than I want to admit. Agnes taught me the joy of shopping and the art of convincing someone to buy me what I wanted, when I wanted it. She was the master.
My mother has the same genes running through her too, although she does not like to admit it. Almost everyone has seen the posters entitled All I Need To Know In Life… Well, I give you my take on it:
All I Need To Know In Life I Learned From My Mother
1. You can never have too many pairs of black pants.
2.You can never have too many pairs of black shoes.
3. If you have a color choice always choose black, it’s more slimming.
4. Stand up straight and hold your stomach in.
5. Our lives are like a box of chocolate covered peanuts, there is a nut in them all.
6. A perceptive mother is cheaper than a therapist.
7. Great minds think alike, especially when they are mother and daughter.
8. I am not as smart as I thought I was.
9. Any good designer bag can be bought from a warehouse on Canal Street in downtown Manhattan. (Not to mention a good watch)
I love you Mom!
My mother has the same genes running through her too, although she does not like to admit it. Almost everyone has seen the posters entitled All I Need To Know In Life… Well, I give you my take on it:
All I Need To Know In Life I Learned From My Mother
1. You can never have too many pairs of black pants.
2.You can never have too many pairs of black shoes.
3. If you have a color choice always choose black, it’s more slimming.
4. Stand up straight and hold your stomach in.
5. Our lives are like a box of chocolate covered peanuts, there is a nut in them all.
6. A perceptive mother is cheaper than a therapist.
7. Great minds think alike, especially when they are mother and daughter.
8. I am not as smart as I thought I was.
9. Any good designer bag can be bought from a warehouse on Canal Street in downtown Manhattan. (Not to mention a good watch)
I love you Mom!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Dancing Queen
Yippee! Only 28 more days until Dancing with the Stars premieres! They announced the new stars this morning on GMA and I am sooo excited! I must confess that I am addicted to DWTS and I’m not ashamed. I always look forward to the new lineup ,but I think this season will be my favorite since Ian Ziering danced his way back into my life.
I’ve got one name for you…Rocco! Yes, as in Dispirito! Lord have mercy! I know that I am a happily married woman, but there is just something about a man who can cook and dance! When the show does premiere, I will have to hide my Rocco enthusiasm from Mark. I don’t want to damage his ego. LOL!
I did announce to Mark last night that the DWTS count down had begun and he acted less than enthused. I believe his exact words were “not again”. He says that he does not like the show, but I know he is full of it. I see him watching when he thinks I’m not looking. (He does the same thing when I am watching General Hospital on Soap Net).
I have to run. I need to find my “fancy” monogrammed apron and my tap shoes!
I’ve got one name for you…Rocco! Yes, as in Dispirito! Lord have mercy! I know that I am a happily married woman, but there is just something about a man who can cook and dance! When the show does premiere, I will have to hide my Rocco enthusiasm from Mark. I don’t want to damage his ego. LOL!
I did announce to Mark last night that the DWTS count down had begun and he acted less than enthused. I believe his exact words were “not again”. He says that he does not like the show, but I know he is full of it. I see him watching when he thinks I’m not looking. (He does the same thing when I am watching General Hospital on Soap Net).
I have to run. I need to find my “fancy” monogrammed apron and my tap shoes!
Jail House Rock
My daughter is one of a kind, a true challenge. When it comes to Kate, nothing is easy. Just leaving the house every morning is a debate. Kate keeps us on our toes and we love her for it. This morning was no exception.
Carter got up around 6:45am and he was in a good mood as usual. He ate breakfast, brushed his teeth and got dressed without any drama. Now, I also woke Kate up at 6:45am (at least I tried). After four verses of “Rise and Shine” and “This Little Light of Mine” Kate sat up in the bed thirty five minutes later. (We have to leave home by 7:30am to be on time.) So anyway, Kate sat on the bed whining. Her hair was all over her head, her pajamas were half way off and all she could say was “I don’t want to take baby to school”! I picked her up, carried her to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet. Round 1 goes to me.
As she sat on the toilet whining about not wanting to pee, I brushed her teeth and cleaned her face. As she sat on the toilet proclaiming that she was NOT going to put her clothes on, I picked her up from the toilet and carried her to her room. I put her clothes on while she had her arms crossed in protest. Finally, Kate was ready to go too. Round 2 goes to me.
I made the normal morning announcement “everyone under 4 feet tall line up at the door, the morning train is leaving”. Suddenly, from across the kitchen I heard a little voice whine “I don’t want on the twain!” So, I sent Carter to the garage and I picked Kate up and carried her to the car. In case you have not figured this out, Kate’s feet have not touched the floor since she opened her eyes. I got Kate buckled in and again she protests “I don’t want in my car seat!” All Carter could do is look over at her and shake his head. Round 3 goes to me.
The ride to school did not improve Kate’s attitude. After we took Carter to school, I had some errands to run and she still was not satisfied. When we went to Kroger, she wanted to go to Wal-Mart first. When we finally went to Wal-Mart she wanted to go to the mall instead. She sat in the back of the car and grumbled about everything we did this morning. Round 4 still goes to me.
In the end, I must confess Kate did have the last word (in a big way). We were on the way to pick Carter up at school when Kate tells me that she does not want to be in the car with me anymore. I ask her where she would rather be and her answer was simple “jail!” Needless to say…Round 5 goes to Kate.
Carter got up around 6:45am and he was in a good mood as usual. He ate breakfast, brushed his teeth and got dressed without any drama. Now, I also woke Kate up at 6:45am (at least I tried). After four verses of “Rise and Shine” and “This Little Light of Mine” Kate sat up in the bed thirty five minutes later. (We have to leave home by 7:30am to be on time.) So anyway, Kate sat on the bed whining. Her hair was all over her head, her pajamas were half way off and all she could say was “I don’t want to take baby to school”! I picked her up, carried her to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet. Round 1 goes to me.
As she sat on the toilet whining about not wanting to pee, I brushed her teeth and cleaned her face. As she sat on the toilet proclaiming that she was NOT going to put her clothes on, I picked her up from the toilet and carried her to her room. I put her clothes on while she had her arms crossed in protest. Finally, Kate was ready to go too. Round 2 goes to me.
I made the normal morning announcement “everyone under 4 feet tall line up at the door, the morning train is leaving”. Suddenly, from across the kitchen I heard a little voice whine “I don’t want on the twain!” So, I sent Carter to the garage and I picked Kate up and carried her to the car. In case you have not figured this out, Kate’s feet have not touched the floor since she opened her eyes. I got Kate buckled in and again she protests “I don’t want in my car seat!” All Carter could do is look over at her and shake his head. Round 3 goes to me.
The ride to school did not improve Kate’s attitude. After we took Carter to school, I had some errands to run and she still was not satisfied. When we went to Kroger, she wanted to go to Wal-Mart first. When we finally went to Wal-Mart she wanted to go to the mall instead. She sat in the back of the car and grumbled about everything we did this morning. Round 4 still goes to me.
In the end, I must confess Kate did have the last word (in a big way). We were on the way to pick Carter up at school when Kate tells me that she does not want to be in the car with me anymore. I ask her where she would rather be and her answer was simple “jail!” Needless to say…Round 5 goes to Kate.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
What's That Smell?
Sit back and relax, this one is going to take a while to tell. It is amazing to me some of the things that happen to our family. Sometimes I think that we are being set up by someone and video taped. The latest report from Precocious Plantation involves several newcomers some human and some not so human.
This all started about two months ago. My mother (a.k.a. my neighbor) mentioned that she had seen something wandering around in her front yard one night and she thought it was a skunk. We all thought that seemed strange and my dad even went as far as to laugh at her, but she stuck to her story. A few weeks later, Mark comes into the bedroom around 4:30 in the morning wakes me up and tells me that there is a skunk right outside our house. He said “do you want to see it?” Seriously? It is the booty crack of dawn and he wants me to come look at a skunk. Of course, I got up to investigate. Sure enough, there he was Pepe Le Pew himself!
Our next tango with Pepe was about three weeks later. We had some friends over for dinner and when they started to leave Mark begins staring out our dining room window. He told me he was going to step out the door and check to make sure there were no skunks outside before they left. I cracked up laughing! I told Mark he was crazy, but if he wanted to be on skunk patrol go right ahead. He opened the front door and before he could shut it behind him he was back in the house and slamming the door! “It’s out there!” he said. Seriously? I could not believe it! We were trapped! Mark came up with a plan to get our friends to their car without becoming aromatically challenged. My job was to sneak our friends out the garage while Mark stood outside the front door and guarded Pepe. Heaven help us if there were any nosey neighbors watching because we gave them a show. Our friends made it to their car without a vermin encounter. We may never here from them again, but at least they made it out smelling like a rose. LOL!
Once again, at the booty crack, a week ago this past Sunday Mark wakes me up. “There are two!” he said. Great day in the morning! We are being invaded! Why here? Why my house? Why could they not have stayed at my moms? The revelation of there being multiple skunks completely tore Mark out of frame. He became a man on a mission. His first step was a trip to Lowes. He came home with $20 less than he went with and a bottle of something called “Critter Ritter”. I know what you are thinking, try to catch your breath and like my uncle Bud says “hold your bucket“ there’s more. After the $20 was flushed away, Mark’s next step was much more violent. He wanted to poison them. Duh! Then they will curl up around my house and die! Talk about stink. Then Mark decided he was going to try a “catch and release” method. Lord have mercy! This man is redneck wanna be in the body of an accountant. He was actually going to go to the farm and garden store and by a trap! I ask him what in the world he was going to do with Pepe and his woman Lola if he trapped them. I told him if he got sprayed he would be sleeping outside for at least three weeks. Mark took my warning to heart and did not buy a trap.
In comes Super Mom! (That’s me!) I logged onto the trusty internet and found my hero! I found him at www.gawildlifecontrol.com. Matt (we are now on a first name basis) is the owner and founder of A+ Wildlife Control. He came to our rescue last Friday. Then again on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! He set six traps, three at my house and three at moms.
Here comes the “ah ha” moment of this entire fiasco. My mom thought that it was fascinating because Matt baited the traps with watermelon. I told her that my new friend Matt said that watermelon was a favorite of Pepe and those of his kind. All the color began to drain out of my mothers face and all she could say is “oops”. Oops? What does that mean? She then lets the cat out of the bag and confessed to having fed the skunks. You see, my dad has been throwing watermelon scraps out in their backyard for months! My parents have been feeding Pepe and Lola for who knows how long!
We woke up Saturday morning with three skunks caught. Yes, three! Obviously, Pepe is a busy skunk, but wait! Sunday morning another skunk trapped. Yes, that’s four! Monday morning, another skunk. Yep! The math is right, FIVE! He trapped five skunks in total and none sprayed! That is why Matt is my new hero!
Needless to say, my mom and dad will no long be putting there melons anywhere but the trash!
A little side note:
Did I mention that my new hero Matt looks just like Chris O’Donnell? You know, McVet. Grey’s Anatomy, Robin from Batman and Robin. Yep! Looks just like him. I will confess though, he may look like McVet, but the fact that he catches skunks for a living kind of takes away from the wow of it all.
This all started about two months ago. My mother (a.k.a. my neighbor) mentioned that she had seen something wandering around in her front yard one night and she thought it was a skunk. We all thought that seemed strange and my dad even went as far as to laugh at her, but she stuck to her story. A few weeks later, Mark comes into the bedroom around 4:30 in the morning wakes me up and tells me that there is a skunk right outside our house. He said “do you want to see it?” Seriously? It is the booty crack of dawn and he wants me to come look at a skunk. Of course, I got up to investigate. Sure enough, there he was Pepe Le Pew himself!
Our next tango with Pepe was about three weeks later. We had some friends over for dinner and when they started to leave Mark begins staring out our dining room window. He told me he was going to step out the door and check to make sure there were no skunks outside before they left. I cracked up laughing! I told Mark he was crazy, but if he wanted to be on skunk patrol go right ahead. He opened the front door and before he could shut it behind him he was back in the house and slamming the door! “It’s out there!” he said. Seriously? I could not believe it! We were trapped! Mark came up with a plan to get our friends to their car without becoming aromatically challenged. My job was to sneak our friends out the garage while Mark stood outside the front door and guarded Pepe. Heaven help us if there were any nosey neighbors watching because we gave them a show. Our friends made it to their car without a vermin encounter. We may never here from them again, but at least they made it out smelling like a rose. LOL!
Once again, at the booty crack, a week ago this past Sunday Mark wakes me up. “There are two!” he said. Great day in the morning! We are being invaded! Why here? Why my house? Why could they not have stayed at my moms? The revelation of there being multiple skunks completely tore Mark out of frame. He became a man on a mission. His first step was a trip to Lowes. He came home with $20 less than he went with and a bottle of something called “Critter Ritter”. I know what you are thinking, try to catch your breath and like my uncle Bud says “hold your bucket“ there’s more. After the $20 was flushed away, Mark’s next step was much more violent. He wanted to poison them. Duh! Then they will curl up around my house and die! Talk about stink. Then Mark decided he was going to try a “catch and release” method. Lord have mercy! This man is redneck wanna be in the body of an accountant. He was actually going to go to the farm and garden store and by a trap! I ask him what in the world he was going to do with Pepe and his woman Lola if he trapped them. I told him if he got sprayed he would be sleeping outside for at least three weeks. Mark took my warning to heart and did not buy a trap.
In comes Super Mom! (That’s me!) I logged onto the trusty internet and found my hero! I found him at www.gawildlifecontrol.com. Matt (we are now on a first name basis) is the owner and founder of A+ Wildlife Control. He came to our rescue last Friday. Then again on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! He set six traps, three at my house and three at moms.
Here comes the “ah ha” moment of this entire fiasco. My mom thought that it was fascinating because Matt baited the traps with watermelon. I told her that my new friend Matt said that watermelon was a favorite of Pepe and those of his kind. All the color began to drain out of my mothers face and all she could say is “oops”. Oops? What does that mean? She then lets the cat out of the bag and confessed to having fed the skunks. You see, my dad has been throwing watermelon scraps out in their backyard for months! My parents have been feeding Pepe and Lola for who knows how long!
We woke up Saturday morning with three skunks caught. Yes, three! Obviously, Pepe is a busy skunk, but wait! Sunday morning another skunk trapped. Yes, that’s four! Monday morning, another skunk. Yep! The math is right, FIVE! He trapped five skunks in total and none sprayed! That is why Matt is my new hero!
Needless to say, my mom and dad will no long be putting there melons anywhere but the trash!
A little side note:
Did I mention that my new hero Matt looks just like Chris O’Donnell? You know, McVet. Grey’s Anatomy, Robin from Batman and Robin. Yep! Looks just like him. I will confess though, he may look like McVet, but the fact that he catches skunks for a living kind of takes away from the wow of it all.
Friday, August 15, 2008
To Potty Or Not To Potty
I am totally exhausted! We are potty training! People without children do not have a clue how worn out you get from simply making sure that someone under four feet tall doesn’t pee or poop in there panties. We go about every 30 minutes and we are always in a dead run.
Kate has done very well especially for a kid with such a mind of her own. I think I am holding up pretty well too. The medication helps. Don’t panic, I’m talking about Advil, but something stronger is not a bad idea. I must admit I never realized how expensive potty training a little girl would be. So far in the last three days we have gone through 4 rolls of toilet tissue. Let us not forget about the new panties I have had to buy. For the first 2 days Kate thought that she had to put on a new pair of panties EVERY time she went. I have bought 3 new packs of panties and each pack contained 10 pair! For those of you that are math challenged (like me) that’s 30 pair of panties! I do not even own that many and I am a professional shopper!
Our latest adventures in the potty have Kate turning into a true redneck. She decided today that she did not want to pee in the potty anymore. We were leaving to go get Carter at school when she made this announcement. I was running late and I did not have time to argue. She said she wanted to pee in the yard! Again, I did not have time to be anal so I agreed just to get her out of the house. Did I also mention that she insisted on wearing her night gown with the dancing monkeys on it to pick Carter up at school? Well, she did and to top off her ensemble she added her pink fuzzy slippers. It was like icing on the cake.
So anyway, we were outside in the driveway and here we go. Kate takes her shoes off, drops her panties, squats down and ….nothing! We stood there for what seemed like ten minutes and nothing! While we were waiting on her kidneys to kick in, three of our neighbors drove by and were cracking up.
Deep down I know what they were really saying “How did we ever end up with these people in our neighborhood?” If it had been a scene out of a movies the title would read The Clampett’s Move To The Golf Course” .
Kate has done very well especially for a kid with such a mind of her own. I think I am holding up pretty well too. The medication helps. Don’t panic, I’m talking about Advil, but something stronger is not a bad idea. I must admit I never realized how expensive potty training a little girl would be. So far in the last three days we have gone through 4 rolls of toilet tissue. Let us not forget about the new panties I have had to buy. For the first 2 days Kate thought that she had to put on a new pair of panties EVERY time she went. I have bought 3 new packs of panties and each pack contained 10 pair! For those of you that are math challenged (like me) that’s 30 pair of panties! I do not even own that many and I am a professional shopper!
Our latest adventures in the potty have Kate turning into a true redneck. She decided today that she did not want to pee in the potty anymore. We were leaving to go get Carter at school when she made this announcement. I was running late and I did not have time to argue. She said she wanted to pee in the yard! Again, I did not have time to be anal so I agreed just to get her out of the house. Did I also mention that she insisted on wearing her night gown with the dancing monkeys on it to pick Carter up at school? Well, she did and to top off her ensemble she added her pink fuzzy slippers. It was like icing on the cake.
So anyway, we were outside in the driveway and here we go. Kate takes her shoes off, drops her panties, squats down and ….nothing! We stood there for what seemed like ten minutes and nothing! While we were waiting on her kidneys to kick in, three of our neighbors drove by and were cracking up.
Deep down I know what they were really saying “How did we ever end up with these people in our neighborhood?” If it had been a scene out of a movies the title would read The Clampett’s Move To The Golf Course” .
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Let The Games Begin
Recently, I seem to be having an irrational desire to pick fights with children other than my own. I have turned into one of those mothers who try to fight there kids battles for them. Case in point, Kate’s first night as a Cubbie.
Last night was Kate’s first night as an AWANA Cubbie. For those of you who do not know what a Cubbie is, it is a Wednesday night children’s ministry for 3 and 4 year olds. I tried to get Kate totally prepared and excited. Truthfully, she could not have cared less. Kate is a free spirit and totally flies by the seat of her pants. Totally opposite from Carter. I’ll give you an example of Kate. Remember the movie A Christmas Story with the Red Rider bb gun? Well, Kate is the little brother in that movie, the one who eats his mash potatoes while pretending to be a pig. That’s our Katie!
We got to church last night and it was total chaos. I finally got Carter where he needed to be and Kate and I were off to Cubbies! Cubbies class started off good for Kate. She sat at the table and colored her picture like she was suppose to, but when she finished 2 minutes later she was ready to play. Did I mention that I am one of the three teachers in Cubbies? Yep, I am! So, I told Kate she had to stay at the table until game time. She ignored me, but she did listen to Ms. Kellie and sat back down for about 5 seconds.
I began to get really aggravated with Kate because she would not get with the program, but what I was not taking into consideration was her age and personality. Kate will not turn 3 for another month and I really need to cut her some slack.
It was game time and into the gym we went. The game leaders ask who knew how to play duck, duck, goose. Kate threw her little hand up in the air and screamed “I do, I do”. I could have cried right then and there. My baby girl was growing up. Anyway, let the games begin. The first kid got up and started around the circle duck, duck, duck, etc. First round, no goose for Kate, second round, no goose for Kate, after round six still no goose for Kate. Now I’m ticked and holding back a hissy fit. I sat there and watched my baby girl sit on pins and needles waiting to be picked. I did not know whether to cry or go grab the little girl that had already been goose 3 times by the pig tail and drag her over to Kate.
All I can say is the Good Lord put one hand on my heart and the other over my mouth reminded me where I was and Kate finally got picked. She ran and laughed when she finally got her turn, but then she was done and walked away from the other kids.
Duck, duck, goose was no longer good enough for Kate, she was ready for a solid game of “Hide and Go Seek”!
I guess she will not be scared for life after all!
Last night was Kate’s first night as an AWANA Cubbie. For those of you who do not know what a Cubbie is, it is a Wednesday night children’s ministry for 3 and 4 year olds. I tried to get Kate totally prepared and excited. Truthfully, she could not have cared less. Kate is a free spirit and totally flies by the seat of her pants. Totally opposite from Carter. I’ll give you an example of Kate. Remember the movie A Christmas Story with the Red Rider bb gun? Well, Kate is the little brother in that movie, the one who eats his mash potatoes while pretending to be a pig. That’s our Katie!
We got to church last night and it was total chaos. I finally got Carter where he needed to be and Kate and I were off to Cubbies! Cubbies class started off good for Kate. She sat at the table and colored her picture like she was suppose to, but when she finished 2 minutes later she was ready to play. Did I mention that I am one of the three teachers in Cubbies? Yep, I am! So, I told Kate she had to stay at the table until game time. She ignored me, but she did listen to Ms. Kellie and sat back down for about 5 seconds.
I began to get really aggravated with Kate because she would not get with the program, but what I was not taking into consideration was her age and personality. Kate will not turn 3 for another month and I really need to cut her some slack.
It was game time and into the gym we went. The game leaders ask who knew how to play duck, duck, goose. Kate threw her little hand up in the air and screamed “I do, I do”. I could have cried right then and there. My baby girl was growing up. Anyway, let the games begin. The first kid got up and started around the circle duck, duck, duck, etc. First round, no goose for Kate, second round, no goose for Kate, after round six still no goose for Kate. Now I’m ticked and holding back a hissy fit. I sat there and watched my baby girl sit on pins and needles waiting to be picked. I did not know whether to cry or go grab the little girl that had already been goose 3 times by the pig tail and drag her over to Kate.
All I can say is the Good Lord put one hand on my heart and the other over my mouth reminded me where I was and Kate finally got picked. She ran and laughed when she finally got her turn, but then she was done and walked away from the other kids.
Duck, duck, goose was no longer good enough for Kate, she was ready for a solid game of “Hide and Go Seek”!
I guess she will not be scared for life after all!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Drama Queen
Yesterday Kate and I walked Carter into school for his second official day. However, it was Kate’s first official day of getting to take her brother to school. We parked the car and I gave her “the speech”. Be good, hold my hand, don’t talk loud, don’t run and no hissy fits! Kate agreed to my terms and off we went into the school. We took Carter into the MPR and he sat with his classmates. Well, Kate took a seat beside Carter and told me bye! I hugged Carter goodbye and took Kate by the hand. She would not budge! She yelled at me that she was not leaving her “baby” (Carter) and that she was going to school too.
I was soooo embarrassed! I knelt down and whispered to her that we had to leave “baby” there and I reach to pick here up. She went completely dead weight on me! I let go of her, trying not to cause a scene. Then she throws herself in the floor and starts to scream “help me, help me please!”. I was looking for the nearest table to crawl under, but I knew I could not leave her there. I was left with no other choice but to scoop Kate up under my arm and physically remove her (while kicking and screaming) from the MPR. All the parents we passed gave Kate that look of “oh, how sweet! She does not want to leave her brother”. Yeah right! They need to give her a look more like “good Lord, get that kid out of here look”.
We made it to the car, finally! Then came my ultimate weapon….memaw (Mark‘s mom)! I use her as my ultimate threat with Kate. I simply told her that if she had one more episode like, she would have to go to memaw’s while I took Carter to school everyday. It worked!
Today went much smoother and I did not even have to release my flying monkeys.
I was soooo embarrassed! I knelt down and whispered to her that we had to leave “baby” there and I reach to pick here up. She went completely dead weight on me! I let go of her, trying not to cause a scene. Then she throws herself in the floor and starts to scream “help me, help me please!”. I was looking for the nearest table to crawl under, but I knew I could not leave her there. I was left with no other choice but to scoop Kate up under my arm and physically remove her (while kicking and screaming) from the MPR. All the parents we passed gave Kate that look of “oh, how sweet! She does not want to leave her brother”. Yeah right! They need to give her a look more like “good Lord, get that kid out of here look”.
We made it to the car, finally! Then came my ultimate weapon….memaw (Mark‘s mom)! I use her as my ultimate threat with Kate. I simply told her that if she had one more episode like, she would have to go to memaw’s while I took Carter to school everyday. It worked!
Today went much smoother and I did not even have to release my flying monkeys.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Looks Like We Made It
Well, today was Carter’s first day of kindergarten and to quote Shania Twain “Looks like we made it”. I was very proud of Carter and I was even more proud of myself. He was such a big boy and I am proud to say that I too was on my best behavior.
We began our morning at school in the MPR (multi-purpose room). Carter and I were sitting there waiting to go into his classroom and I was holding back the tears. I walked him to his room and I had to beg him for a hug. He went straight to his desk, sat down, and waved bye to me. That’s it? That’s all I get? Five years I have fed him, dressed him, and wiped his behind and that’s all. A forced hug and a slight wave. Kindergarten is a big deal and I was looking for a Kodak moment! Oh well, I am glad that he was so excited to be there and did not attach himself to my leg. As a matter of fact, I did not see any kids attached to any legs, but I did see a few parents being pulled around.
After the “drop-off”, parents had to report back to the MPR for our first ever PTSF meeting. Yeah! What was the topic of our first meeting? None other than the annual Sally Foster wrapping paper fundraiser. I was so excited! I LOVE Sally Foster wrapping paper! Don’t you? So now Carter and I have a mission. We must sell 140 items. That’s the big number, the number we need to win the coveted I-Pod. Carter does not even know what an I-Pod is, but that is not the point. The point is to win. I’d better get busy, wrapping paper will not sell itself.
I have a feeling it is going to be a long year.
We began our morning at school in the MPR (multi-purpose room). Carter and I were sitting there waiting to go into his classroom and I was holding back the tears. I walked him to his room and I had to beg him for a hug. He went straight to his desk, sat down, and waved bye to me. That’s it? That’s all I get? Five years I have fed him, dressed him, and wiped his behind and that’s all. A forced hug and a slight wave. Kindergarten is a big deal and I was looking for a Kodak moment! Oh well, I am glad that he was so excited to be there and did not attach himself to my leg. As a matter of fact, I did not see any kids attached to any legs, but I did see a few parents being pulled around.
After the “drop-off”, parents had to report back to the MPR for our first ever PTSF meeting. Yeah! What was the topic of our first meeting? None other than the annual Sally Foster wrapping paper fundraiser. I was so excited! I LOVE Sally Foster wrapping paper! Don’t you? So now Carter and I have a mission. We must sell 140 items. That’s the big number, the number we need to win the coveted I-Pod. Carter does not even know what an I-Pod is, but that is not the point. The point is to win. I’d better get busy, wrapping paper will not sell itself.
I have a feeling it is going to be a long year.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Potty Party
A strange ritual takes place at our house everyday, often times more than once a day. There is a pilgrimage to the potty that is like none other. You see, Kate is Carter’s “potty buddy”. Every time Carter goes to the potty, Kate insists on going with him. He will take his place on the toilet and Kate takes her place sitting in the bathtub. They just sit in there and have a big conversation while Carter takes care of business! They enjoy each others company so much that Carter will hunt Kate down just to tell her he is going to potty so she can come too.
This little ritual totally freaks Mark out. He does not understand why in this world anyone would go to the bathroom with somebody. Mark thinks that a persons time in the bathroom is sacred and should never be “shared” with anyone. Does any of this sound familiar ladies?
I tried to explain to Mark how it works. I can remember growing up, I sat in many a bath tub and hardly ever went to the bathroom alone. My friends and I always went with each other to the bathroom. As I got a little older (teenager), I gave up tub sitting for primping in the mirror, but it was completely normal. That is where we discussed the days events. It is where we found solitude in a world gone mad. Think about it, even as adults women have a tendency to accompany each other to the bathroom. I see it in restaurants all the time. Normally, it is just to gossip, but sometimes it is to assist with a crisis in wardrobe or makeup.
I think God gave women a special gene for “potty parties”. God knew that once we had children it would be YEARS before we would ever go to potty alone.
This little ritual totally freaks Mark out. He does not understand why in this world anyone would go to the bathroom with somebody. Mark thinks that a persons time in the bathroom is sacred and should never be “shared” with anyone. Does any of this sound familiar ladies?
I tried to explain to Mark how it works. I can remember growing up, I sat in many a bath tub and hardly ever went to the bathroom alone. My friends and I always went with each other to the bathroom. As I got a little older (teenager), I gave up tub sitting for primping in the mirror, but it was completely normal. That is where we discussed the days events. It is where we found solitude in a world gone mad. Think about it, even as adults women have a tendency to accompany each other to the bathroom. I see it in restaurants all the time. Normally, it is just to gossip, but sometimes it is to assist with a crisis in wardrobe or makeup.
I think God gave women a special gene for “potty parties”. God knew that once we had children it would be YEARS before we would ever go to potty alone.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Are You Matching Today?
Saturday was our state’s annual sales tax holiday. These “holidays” are like cattle calls for every debutante and redneck across the state of Georgia. People who refuse to shop anywhere but Wal-Mart will even go to the mall on the annual sales tax holiday. If you did not know any better you would think it was Christmas Eve.
Of course my mother and I had to get out with all the other crazy people and get a piece of the “no tax” pie, not that we needed an excuse to shop, but it sounded good at the time. We had been shopping for awhile and it was time to try on our choices. Mom went first and I sat with the kids in a “waiting area” outside the dressing rooms. I have to admit the kids were on their best behavior, so I sat back and did my favorite thing which is dressing room review 101. DRR 101 as I like to call it, is were I sit outside of the dressing room and critique (to myself) what other people come out wearing. Don’t act like you are offended, you know you have done it too.
One shopper in the dressing rooms caught my attention. She was helping out a friend that was trying on a lot of clothes. Her speaking voice was very loud and you could tell she did not mind that everyone in the store could hear what she was saying. Her friend was apparently trying on bras so she begins to tell her how she never wore panties that did not match her bra. Oh! those were the days. I too can remember when I would not leave the house if my bra did not match my panties, but then came kids and a good dose of reality.
The woman continued on with her matching panties routine and then it happened. She told her “friend” that she preferred thongs. Oh Dear Lord! It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut. Did I mention that this woman was not a Victoria’s Secret model? Well, she was not and far from it! So when the term “thong” came out of her mouth I had to bite my tongue. I am a firm believer that some things should not come in some sizes. Now, I know that all of this may sound mean, but I think you will forgive me when you find out what she did.
If I concentrate really hard I can remember bits and pieces of my life before I had children. The one thing I remember very clear is the respect I had for people with children. My respect ran especially deep when it came to people shopping with their children. It may have been sympathy and not respect, but anyway I was nice to them. Now that I take my own two kids shopping, I just wish other people would take a page out of the “nice” book.
It was my turn in the dressing room, so mom took her post with the kids. Carter and Kate were playing school to entertain themselves and they were not being loud or wild. They were simply talking to each other. I came out with my first outfit on and I noticed “thong girl” outside of the friends door. Her friend was talking to her and then it happened. “Thong girl” looked over her shoulder at my kids rolled her eyes and said “I’m sorry Kim, but I CAN NOT HEAR YOU!” Oh, no she didn’t! I know she did not just roll her eyes at my kids and raise her voice toward them. I stood there staring her down just waiting on her to say something else. I could feel the southern belle redneck rising up inside me. Add my P.M.S. to the mix and “Katie bar the door”, I was about to loose my religion and claw her eyes out.
My mother was the voice of reason. She simply said as loud as she could “that’s o.k. Stef, she will have kids someday”. Mom was probably right, she would have kids someday. Maybe her matching bra and thong will help her out a little.
Of course my mother and I had to get out with all the other crazy people and get a piece of the “no tax” pie, not that we needed an excuse to shop, but it sounded good at the time. We had been shopping for awhile and it was time to try on our choices. Mom went first and I sat with the kids in a “waiting area” outside the dressing rooms. I have to admit the kids were on their best behavior, so I sat back and did my favorite thing which is dressing room review 101. DRR 101 as I like to call it, is were I sit outside of the dressing room and critique (to myself) what other people come out wearing. Don’t act like you are offended, you know you have done it too.
One shopper in the dressing rooms caught my attention. She was helping out a friend that was trying on a lot of clothes. Her speaking voice was very loud and you could tell she did not mind that everyone in the store could hear what she was saying. Her friend was apparently trying on bras so she begins to tell her how she never wore panties that did not match her bra. Oh! those were the days. I too can remember when I would not leave the house if my bra did not match my panties, but then came kids and a good dose of reality.
The woman continued on with her matching panties routine and then it happened. She told her “friend” that she preferred thongs. Oh Dear Lord! It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut. Did I mention that this woman was not a Victoria’s Secret model? Well, she was not and far from it! So when the term “thong” came out of her mouth I had to bite my tongue. I am a firm believer that some things should not come in some sizes. Now, I know that all of this may sound mean, but I think you will forgive me when you find out what she did.
If I concentrate really hard I can remember bits and pieces of my life before I had children. The one thing I remember very clear is the respect I had for people with children. My respect ran especially deep when it came to people shopping with their children. It may have been sympathy and not respect, but anyway I was nice to them. Now that I take my own two kids shopping, I just wish other people would take a page out of the “nice” book.
It was my turn in the dressing room, so mom took her post with the kids. Carter and Kate were playing school to entertain themselves and they were not being loud or wild. They were simply talking to each other. I came out with my first outfit on and I noticed “thong girl” outside of the friends door. Her friend was talking to her and then it happened. “Thong girl” looked over her shoulder at my kids rolled her eyes and said “I’m sorry Kim, but I CAN NOT HEAR YOU!” Oh, no she didn’t! I know she did not just roll her eyes at my kids and raise her voice toward them. I stood there staring her down just waiting on her to say something else. I could feel the southern belle redneck rising up inside me. Add my P.M.S. to the mix and “Katie bar the door”, I was about to loose my religion and claw her eyes out.
My mother was the voice of reason. She simply said as loud as she could “that’s o.k. Stef, she will have kids someday”. Mom was probably right, she would have kids someday. Maybe her matching bra and thong will help her out a little.
Friday, August 1, 2008
A Chapter Closes
I love my children with my whole heart and soul, but I have come to realize that loving them so much has brought me more heartache than I could have ever imagined. I was just sitting down to have lunch and it hit me that Carter starts kindergarten a week from today and I felt true pain in my heart. The tears started to flow. That was 30 minutes ago and I can’t stop crying.
I think back to when I found out I was pregnant with Carter. I received a call from my doctor’s office and the nurse basically told me that based on my latest test results I probably would not be able to conceive. Mark and I were completely devastated.
I had not been feeling well for several days and I decided to take a pregnancy test (I thought it was just wishful thinking). The test came back positive and I took two more test (same day). All were positive. If you do the math, I was pregnant when the doctor’s office had called to break the bad news. It’s safe to say that when I showed up for my first prenatal appointment a week after “the call” I was treated like royalty.
My “final” doctor’s appointment was on Tuesday March 25, 2005 at 4:00pm. My blood pressure was up and the doctor decided we needed to schedule an induction. I was two weeks away from my due date, so I thought that “schedule” meant the end of the week. The doctor came back into the room and sent me directly to the hospital to have prostaglandin gel applied. We went home for the night and had to be back at the hospital at 5:00am. To make a long story short, at 1:10pm Wednesday March 26, 2005 I gave birth to an 8lb 6oz baby boy.
All of this seems just like yesterday and I have cherished everyday that we have been blessed with spending together. It was not my life long desire to be a stay at home mom, but it was the best decision I ever made. I was there for every tear, smile, step, fall, and word. I was blessed by them all, but now I wish I had cherished them more.
A chapter in Carter’s life is closing and it is so hard to let go. His preschool years are over and I can not get them back. If I knew then what I know now, I would have paid more attention, documented more events and been much more “in the moment”. My house cleaning and laundry could have waited another day.
A Note To Carter…
Dearest Carter,
A new chapter is about to begin for you. A new adventure is waiting for you and many new possibilities. Try to find the joy and wonder in all things and share your laughter with everyone. My prayer for you is to always remember our love for you and especially God’s love for you. May God give you safety and continue to build his hedge of protection around you. I love you with all my heart baby boy. Have a great time at school!
Love,
Mommy
I think back to when I found out I was pregnant with Carter. I received a call from my doctor’s office and the nurse basically told me that based on my latest test results I probably would not be able to conceive. Mark and I were completely devastated.
I had not been feeling well for several days and I decided to take a pregnancy test (I thought it was just wishful thinking). The test came back positive and I took two more test (same day). All were positive. If you do the math, I was pregnant when the doctor’s office had called to break the bad news. It’s safe to say that when I showed up for my first prenatal appointment a week after “the call” I was treated like royalty.
My “final” doctor’s appointment was on Tuesday March 25, 2005 at 4:00pm. My blood pressure was up and the doctor decided we needed to schedule an induction. I was two weeks away from my due date, so I thought that “schedule” meant the end of the week. The doctor came back into the room and sent me directly to the hospital to have prostaglandin gel applied. We went home for the night and had to be back at the hospital at 5:00am. To make a long story short, at 1:10pm Wednesday March 26, 2005 I gave birth to an 8lb 6oz baby boy.
All of this seems just like yesterday and I have cherished everyday that we have been blessed with spending together. It was not my life long desire to be a stay at home mom, but it was the best decision I ever made. I was there for every tear, smile, step, fall, and word. I was blessed by them all, but now I wish I had cherished them more.
A chapter in Carter’s life is closing and it is so hard to let go. His preschool years are over and I can not get them back. If I knew then what I know now, I would have paid more attention, documented more events and been much more “in the moment”. My house cleaning and laundry could have waited another day.
A Note To Carter…
Dearest Carter,
A new chapter is about to begin for you. A new adventure is waiting for you and many new possibilities. Try to find the joy and wonder in all things and share your laughter with everyone. My prayer for you is to always remember our love for you and especially God’s love for you. May God give you safety and continue to build his hedge of protection around you. I love you with all my heart baby boy. Have a great time at school!
Love,
Mommy
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