The Great Yard Sale Debate

I got out of the bed this morning thinking it would be a quite Saturday morning. That was my first mistake. We got up early and went to Target and this is when the morning started to unravel.

We were driving down the road and everyone in the car was minding there own business, when Mark (my husband) takes notice of the numerous yard sales (that is southern for garage sales) that were taking place this morning. Now, a little background on Mark. He is an accountant, in other words he is cheap! If you stuck a lump of coal up Mark’s booty, in two weeks you would have a diamond. The first question out of his mouth was why have we not had a yard sale this summer. I could feel the tension begin to rise.

In my opinion, the sole purpose for a yard sale is getting rid of unwanted junk. I don’t particularly care for yard sales. I do not like having them, nor do I like shopping at them. Now, I am sure I have just offended those of you who love a good yard sale, but I am just being honest. If I want to buy something, I prefer doing it in an air conditioned mall surrounded by the smell of new shoes fresh out of the box and the lingering aroma of a Starbucks.

In Mark’s opinion, the sole purpose for a yard sale is making money. He gets a natural high from just the thoughts of having a yard sale. The worst part is, he not only tries to sell our junk, but he will go to his parents house and bring there junk too. Of course no one ever buys all this junk, so it ends up in my garage. Then we have to keep it and try to sell it again.

He actually admitted to me today, that he would like for us to try and have a yard sale two weekends out of EVERY month. First of all, I ask him what he put in his coffee this morning and then I ask him what in this world did he think we were going to sell for two weeks out of EVERY month. He told me not to worry he would go out and find us stuff. He has LOST HIS MIND or maybe he just has too much free time!

My response to Mark’s “business” idea as he called it was very simple. I went straight into my “momologue”. I am sure you have heard this one before, it goes a little something like this:
1. I have household to run
2. Carter has tennis lessons
3. Kate has ballet
4. Groceries have to be bought
5. Laundry has to be done
So one and so forth…

Once the “momologue” started, Mark completely shut up about yard sales. It works every time! So for now, the great yard sale debate has been put on the backburner. I am now reloading my “momologue” for the next time I need it.